Religious Spam 2 – Jesus Saves Little Wet Pants
It's a quiet evening and you're checking your e-mail. Suddenly and without thought your eyes begin to roll. You can't help it: a family member has just sent you Religious Spam™!
My family - nearly all of them - are religious. Hardcore Pentecostal and therefore I get these e-mails a lot. I thought it would be fun to share them, possibly offer humorous and/or witty comments regarding them.
Come with me to a third grade classroom......
There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of a sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet. He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened. It's never happened before, and he knows that when the boys find out he will never hear the end of it. When the girls find out, they'll never speak to him again as long as he lives.
The boy believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his head down and prays this prayer, “Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I'm dead meat.”
He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her eyes that says he has been discovered.
As the teacher is walking toward him, a classmate named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that is filled with water. Susie trips in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water in the boy's lap.
The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to himself, “Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!”
Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule, the boy is the object of sympathy. The teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts to put on while his pants dry out. All the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning up around his desk. The sympathy is wonderful, but as life would have it, the ridicule that should have been his has been transferred to someone else - Susie.
She tries to help, but they tell her to get out. “You've done enough, you klutz!”
Finally, at the end of the day, as they are waiting for the bus, the boy walks over to Susie and whispers, “You did that on purpose, didn't you?” Susie whispers back, “I wet my pants once too.”
May God help us see the opportunities that are always around us to do well.
Remember........Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.
Each and everyone one of us is going through tough times right now, but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that only He can. Keep the faith.
My instructions were to pick people that I wanted God to bless, and I picked you. Please pass this to people you want to be blessed and a copy back to me.
This prayer is powerful, and prayer is one of the best gifts we receive. There is no cost but a lot of rewards. Let's continue to pray for one another.
The Prayer:
Father, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives and those that I care deeply for, who are reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of Your love and power, Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to their spirit at this very moment. Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy. Where there is self-doubt, release a renewed confidence through Your grace. Where there is need, I ask you to fulfill their needs. Bless their homes, families, finances, their goings and their comings. Amen.
If the Lord lies upon your heart to send this to more people, you are truly blessed.
Funny how their God can hear the cries of children who've embarrassingly pissed on themselves yet doesn't hear the cries of children through-out the world dying in starvation.